The 5 Worst Kinds of Gun Guys

Everyone knows gun people are super cool and can wear sunglasses indoors without anyone saying a word to them, but let me tell you, there are some folks that are not super cool and maybe, in fact, are un cool.  Some of them wear outlandish outfits, some have more guns than they do bullets.  Keep reading to find out if you are one of these people.  

Before we get into these five types of guys, we need a quick disclaimer.  Almost all of us have a little bit of these stereotypes in us, including myself.  Let’s not take ourselves too seriously, and have a laugh on our own behalves.

The Photographer’s Vest Gun Guy 

This is a rare animal to see in your normal environment.  You often will see this majestic creature frequenting your Walmarts, Gander Mountains, and possibly truck stops. He’s generally a bigger guy, and finds concealed carry uncomfortable, mainly due to that spare tire he carries everywhere he goes.

His solution is to wear a photographer’s vest over their normal clothing, like no body else does, to conceal their full size 1911, because stopping power bro.  If you happen to see them at the range, they will probably be doing some semi suicidal moves that are sure to make you nervous.

While this guy may be an enthusiastic concealed carry advocate, he believes that watching Magpul DVDs are a great substitute for actual training.  He needs to get to the gym, do some dry fire training, and find a reputable instructor to help him out.

The Almost Operator 

This fellow can be found wearing 5.11 tactical pants at all times.  If he doesn’t have multiple sets of cargo pockets, then he doesn’t know what to do with himself.  He also favors Oakley M frames and ball caps, pulled down low, regardless of how much sun or rain, or night there is.

To this guy’s credit he generally has some pretty sweet gear and guns.  I mean you can’t be tacticool if you don’t even have $5000 to spend on your tactical gear right?  What do you mean Crye Precision doesn’t make combat pants in 4XXL ?  That’s bullshit!

His natural habitat is the range and or training courses where you can see him searching and assessing incredibly aggressively, “to make sure those ISIS boys don’t sneak up on my six.”

The Overly Entitled Veteran Guy 

This one is pretty common to see, but difficult to spot.  He generally goes out and about during his day to day without attracting too much attention.  The easiest way to spot this guy is to spout off a few opinions about terrorism, or the military, and then you will be able to identify him by his eye rolling, and laughing while pointing in your direction.

He also might be wearing a tactical backpack that looks pretty beat up, “from his time in the Stan.”  If you happen to ask about his opinions of the military you are likely to get some form of, “you don’t know cuz you weren’t there.”

There are also other identifying marks on this creature.  He will always have some form of American Flag on his person at all times, and possibly a shemagh. To his credit he probably is in pretty good shape, and will be able to kick your ass. Be careful around this one.

The Clueless Collector 

This guy lives in a museum dedicated to his gun collection.  Some might call it a house, but he doesn’t.  He has seen the Matrix one too many times, and went way down the gun collection rabbit whole.

This fella isn’t content to just collect a pistol here, or a rifle there.  He’s got to have an example of every type produced in every country ever made.  He will also own numerous 1911’s, but hasn’t shot them ever, and why would he do that?  That’s how you get them dirty bro.

The hallmark for this guy is that he will actually have more guns than he does bullets, and doesn’t really know how to operate most of his weapons effectively.  On the plus side, he can field strip any gun you own, and is basically an unlicensed gun smith.

The Keyboard Commando 

Oh the keyboard commando.  This guy is by far the most common.  His natural habitat is the internet forum, where he can start arguments about the minutia of gun culture for no particular purpose.

You can identify this guy by his unswerving loyalty to certain gun ideologies such as: 45 acp bro, and all rifles need $4000 scopes bro.  If you are a beginner shooter, this guy will definitely want to steer you in the right direction, my young padawan.

He generally discounts practice and mastery of the fundamentals as unimportant because spending more money on gear will fix his sub par skills for sure.

Final Thoughts 

If I’m honest with myself I’m probably part almost operator, and part overly entitled veteran.  I try not to be, but I’ve definitely worn 5.11’s out and about, and I’ve laughed at people’s opinions of the military to their face.  So I’m no better than anyone else, but I still find it funny, even if I’m laughing at myself.  Remember, let’s not take this stuff too seriously and have some fun, because well, look at us.

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