The Only Workout Advice You Will Ever Need

Most people overcomplicate the concept of exercising. To be fair, the fitness industry does themselves no favors by pushing questionable gimmicks and fad diets. Does anyone remember this guy?

I’ve made it no secret that I’m on the functional fitness bandwagon; however, I understand something most athletes don’t, especially the rabid baby athletes, who haven’t yet received their six month tokens. See what I did there? I understand that functional fitness is a way to fitness, not the ONLY way. The two most important ingredients in any physical endeavor are: consistency and effort, everything else is secondary.

I originally came from a bodybuilding background and started lifting following that protocol for about seven years. To date, I still believe that Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Bodybuilding Encyclopedia is the best layman’s book for general fitness. That being said, I still find functional fitness compelling for a variety of reasons.

First and foremost, I believe the functional fitness protocol is infinitely flexible depending on what your personal goals are. Secondly, I believe it is the fastest way to increase your fitness, due mainly to the social pressure that exist in most boxes. Having visited a number of gyms over the eight or so years of doing functional fitness, the best boxes become a close knit family, where you go to hang out with your friends who all happen to be working out. It is very difficult to go and not workout when everyone else is. I further believe that functional fitness boxes have a defined set of goals, which is something that the vast majority of people lack when working out in a more traditional manner.   Concrete goals matter. Imagine trying to get a college degree or start a business by saying, “Well, I’ll just go over here and do some stuff and then I’ll succeed.” Ridiculous, but that is what most of us do when we work out.

This leads me to the main point of this article. The only fitness advice you will ever need.   Drumroll please. JUST DO WHAT YOU LEAST WANT TO DO.

Humans are naturally lazy, given enough distractions and time. We however, have been given the gift of higher order thought, which can force our lazy asses out of the recliner and into doing more productive things. That being said, we should not confuse activity with productivity. This is the cardinal sin I see all the time, in every type of gym. It’s natural for us to gravitate towards things we like and are naturally good at. That explains this man.

While funny, we are all guilty of this, which is why my advice is applicable. You just need to do the thing you least want to do. If you have some extra body fat, go for a walk (or trundle). If you can bench more than you squat, well you get the idea.

I know some of you are thinking ‘well this is all fine and good’, in a flippant sort of way, ‘but that doesn’t actually tell me how to get in better shape.’ To you I say, ‘yes, you are correct.’ I will of course cover the detailed methods of how to do this, but for the purposes of this article the following applies:

Eat meat and vegetables, nuts and seeds, some fruit, little starch and no sugar. Keep intake to levels that will support exercise but not body fat. Practice and train major lifts: Deadlift, clean, squat, presses, Clean&Jerk, and snatch. Similarly, master the basics of gymnastics: pull-ups, dips, rope climb, push-ups, sit-ups, presses to handstand, pirouettes, flips, splits, and holds. Bike, run, swim, row, etc, hard and fast. Five or six days per week mix these elements in as many combinations and patterns as creativity will allow. Routine is the enemy. Keep workouts short and intense. Regularly learn and play new sports. ~Coach Greg Glassman, CrossFit Founder and CEO (Courtesy of CrossFit Inc.)

 If you did this, you would be fit. Now, I might not see the necessity of doing a pirouette, but I can say I’ve never seen an unhealthy person do one. Likewise, I also believe that the fitness demands of a computer programmer and a tactical professional are different, only in scale not kind. Both groups need to be strong, both need to train their energy systems (glycolytic, anaerobic, cardiovascular). One group just needs a higher level of these traits in their day-to-day lives. But that’s a little far down the rabbit hole on exercise programing and program biasing for desired outcomes.

Stay tuned for upcoming posts where I will detail simple workout protocols and some useful references. Until then just do what you least want to do.

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